That Article In Penthouse
When I turned fourteen my step dad came in one day, stinking of weed and beer, loosened his tie and said “you’re fourteen now, we need to get you some pussy.” My step dad worked at the time for Burroughs Corporation selling check signers. Those are machines that sign checks. Yeah, I know, it sounds like something from Mad Magazine these days, like a cartoon profession or something, but I swear on everything that’s holy it’s what he actually did. Apparently, and I didn’t know this at the time, if a company has to issue a large number of payroll checks they don’t actually sign them all by hand. They use a check signer and the machine they use contains something called a signature plate - which is a watermarked metal stamp used to print the signature on each individual actual check. He also smoked a lot of weed. According to my mom he has also had a little dick. If you think that’s too much information then we park our cars in the same garage. My mother was neve...